A few weeks ago, the BecomeMore Group team members spent several days at an off-site workshop planning for 2024. And by "off-site" I mean "Florida!" Tammy and Scott rented an amazing house on the beach at Anna Maria Island. The weather wasn't especially cooperative, but nobody could complain about working hard with a view of the ocean (and--occasionally--a rainbow). 

After one morning of thinking deep thoughts and making big plans, we broke for lunch. Everybody retired to the kitchen and found a job that needed doing. Scott started grilling made-to-order sandwiches. Jenn popped some bacon in the oven for said sandwiches. Marlene unloaded the dishwasher. You get the picture: Everyone contributed.

Without being given official assignments, we all pitched in to make the meal happen for each other. And someone pointed out how wonderful it was to work with a team that easily gels like this. Where everyone does their part without a lot of instruction. It was almost magical. 

When a team member doesn't follow the unwritten rules

And then I peeled off to wash my hands in the powder room and found something terrible. You can see it in the photo at the top of this article. 

Someone had left a pathetic, minuscule, practically see-through whiff of toilet paper on the roll. Without replacing it for the next person. E-gads! 

I mean, what kind of monster leaves their coworkers with that?!? I was beyond shocked. So of course I took a photo so I could shame the perpetrator. 

When I eventually showed the photo around, we all had a good laugh about it. And cooked up a bunch of analogies about how the lack of TP replacement compares to the other ways team mates can let each other down. 

Whose Job Is It to Establish the Norm?

Silliness aside though, this kind of thing happens on teams all the time. Right? Somebody does JUST ENOUGH to claim that they did their part, but others still have to pick up the slack. Or somebody fails to notice that they left a mess for the next person. Or somebody purposefully sets up a team member to fail at the next step. Or somebody hogs all the resources. 

A lot of times leaders want to avert their eyes when this kind of thing happens. (When somebody falls short of expectations.) They are reluctant to hold someone accountable because ... the problem feels minor, or the leader doesn't want to be a nit-picker, or there seem to be bigger problems to solve. 

Leaders Are Responsible for Accountability

But what happens when a leader lets bad behavior slide? In our leadership classes, we call this "Below the Line Behavior." When a leader accepts less from one person, the whole team gets the message that they can do less too. They all start to think that bad behavior isn't so bad. It may even become normal. 

Holding team members accountable is especially hard when we're talking about "soft" skills like cooperation, flexibility, respectfulness. But those behaviors are just as important as the technical skills of a job. 

Leaders have to hold everyone accountable for all aspects of work—skill-based and behavior-based. Doing otherwise undermines the success of the organization. 

So if someone on your team is figuratively leaving an empty toilet paper roll for the rest of the organization, it's your job as a leader to speak up. To set a high standard for everyone. To establish norms that won't leave the organization hanging.