Last night at dinner my goddaughter, Zoe, asked Michael and me some questions: 

Zoe: “How did the two of you meet?”                           Michael: “At Volleyball” 

Zoe: “Who asked who out first?                                     Me: “Michael did” 

Zoe: “Michael, why did you ask Tammy out?”             Michael: “Because she was beautiful” 

I, of course, was flattered. Zoe, however, started shaking her head no and told us, “What’s important is what’s on the inside – not what’s on the outside.” 

From the mouth of babes … 

She’s right. I’ve watched as countless friends and acquaintances have missed warning signals because they fell into the lure of external beauty. AND, we don’t just make these kinds of mistakes in our personal lives. We see this same kind of “external judgement” in the workplace – and it’s not limited to attractiveness. 

• “She’s way too young. She won’t be able to handle it.”
• “With that beard and turban – will our customers think he’s a terrorist?”  
• “We’re a high-energy workplace. At that weigh, she’ll never keep up.” 
• “He’s too old. He won’t be able to learn the new technology.”  
• “The job requires relationship skills – we’re going to need a woman for that.”  
  

There’s something called the 7-11 rule. In our first 7 seconds of contact with an individual we form 11 impressions. Those impressions may end up being true or false, but they are based on visual clues that we then run through our own set of personal biases.  And we ALL have them. 

For instance, when I was in my 20s I thought people in their 60s were OLD. Too OLD to do certain things – like play competitive volleyball. And now that I’m in my 60s I’ve been known to think that people in their 20s are way too YOUNG to know how to do important things – like have children or run a critical project without oversight.  

Do you see how foolish I was – or am?  

OUR BIASES IGNORE INDIVIDUAL STRENGTHS

Our biases often create an Us versus Them scenario. 

Millennial versus Baby Boomer 

Westerner versus Easterner 

Black versus White 

Athlete versus Geek 

Women versus Men 

Boss versus staff  

But let’s remember Zoe’s wisdom: “What’s important is what’s on the inside – not what’s on the outside.”   

Not all young, old, black, white, men, women, bosses, staff -- or any other “group” for that matter – are carbon copies of one another. Each person is their own individual human being. And regardless of their outside shell, you’ll find that some people love to learn new things while others prefer to become masters of repetitive tasks. Some people are fast, others are methodical. Some are relationship-oriented. Others are task-oriented.  And all of this good stuff can be found on the inside.          

WE MISS OPPORTUNITIES WHEN WE JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS

We miss out when we use an individual’s outward appearance as our barometer.  We miss out on talent. We miss out on innovative ideas. And we miss out on organizational growth. It takes work, skill and effort to “find out what’s under the hood” so to speak. But in the end, it’s worth it. People who put in the work and effort have better long-term relationships. And research by McKinsey & Company has found that organizations who put in the work and effort have improved engagement scores, lower turnover and higher financial returns.      

Attracting, securing, and retaining talented individuals may be tougher than it’s ever been. And yet – the perfect employee might just be the individual that you overlooked because of your biases. Now is the time to stop being blinded by what you see, and learn what it takes to uncover “what’s on the inside.”